That'll give you, err, kittens
by Chibi Zia
Summary: BBA Team friendship fic. Takao, Max, Rei and Kai are lost in the city. Hot dog stands are more difficult to find than you'd believe. Banter ensues. Also, Kai with kitties.


"Man, where did the hot dog stand run off too? I was sure there was one around here..."

"Are you sure you didn't get us lost? There hasn't been anything resembling civilization for a while now, nevermind a _hot dog stand_."

"Aha, aw, c'mon, Rei, give him a chance! Though I _did_ tell him we were better off going into that noodle shop... And if he had listened to me, we'd all be enjoying some good ol' noodles right now."

Takao turns his head to glare at Max and Rei, huffing irritatedly. "We aren't _lost_, okay; I just don't actually know where we are!"

Rei and Max move to look at each other at the same time, both wearing the same exasperated amusement on their faces. Rei speaks up first, putting his hand on his hips and staring up skywards, shaking his head in bewilderment. "I'm pretty sure that's the definition of 'lost', Takao..."

"Well, at least we're lost together!" Max pipes up, amused grin in place.

"I wish I was lost with Kyoujyuu," Takao answers, ignoring the fact he'd just denied their being lost in the first place, "At least _he's_ useful when we're lost."

"Says the one who got us lost in the first place," Rei bites back, though not without a tinge of humour. "Anyway, he's the one who didn't want to come with us-- though considering where we are right now, I can't say I don't understand him..."

"C'mon, don't fight," Max says, linking his arms behind his head casually, "I bet Kai knows where we are! Right, Kai?"

The three boys swivel around for the mentioned team member, only to stare at empty space at the place where Kai _should_ have been. They stop completely in their tracks all at once.

"... Or he would, if he hadn't ditched us again," Rei points out, causing a nervous laugh to come out of Max.

"When did he ditch us?!" Takao yells out, looking around in bewilderment. "He was trailing behind us not five minutes ago!"

"He can't have gone that far," Max answers, "Maybe he went to ask for directions?"

The three boys ponder this possibility for a few seconds before shaking their heads in sync.

"Nah."

"No way."

"Yeah, I have to admit that was far-fetched," Max says with a laugh, scratching the back of his head. "He probably just ninja'd off somewhere and he's standing on top of a pole right now, looking down on us and saying 'Be lost, peons! Muahahaha!'"

Rei and Takao stare at him as if he's grown a second head. Max shrugs carelessly.

"You know he totally thinks stuff like that."

"Riiiiight. Sure, Maxie."

"Okay, as much fun as talking about Kai's probably insane inner-thoughts is, we're still lost and missing a teammate, here," Rei reminds them casually, "Maybe we should try to look for him? Or maybe just get directions back to the hotel, at least, 'cause somehow I doubt our very own grouch is even _able_ of being lost..."

"He probably has a built-in radar," Takao says, crossing his arms behind his head, "And he can zoom in on us wherever we are. That's how he always gets to us in the nick of time to stand there and look cool after saving our butts when we're in trouble."

"Like a GPS in his _brain_?" Max questions him, eyes wide, "That's _way_ out there, Takao."

"It's possible! How else do you explain that he _always_ knows where we are?! Maybe he installed chips in our brains so he can track us wherever. Man, why didn't I think of that? No more searching for him everywhere! The next time we see the Professor, I'm asking him to put a tracking device on Kai."

"He'll probably find it," Rei tells him with a sigh, "And stick it at the bottom of a well or something."

"Not if Kyoujyuu puts it in a new Dranzer blade! It's not like Kai takes apart his own 'blade or anything..."

"... Actually, I'm pretty sure he does, considering he's the one who builds most of the new Dranzer blades."

"Unlike someone we know who can't even figure out how to open up his own anymore, uh Maxie?"

Takao crosses his arms, sulking. "That was _one time_, and it wasn't even Dragoon anyway!"

"I bet he has a manual for how to properly launch his blade hidden on his shooter," Rei tells Max with a laugh, ignoring the world champion.

"Nah, Kyoujyuu got him an ear piece, and he reminds him how 'blading works every match!" Max answers, also ignoring the world champ, who was getting more and more aggravated by this.

"Could we go back to the 'Hey, we're lost in random back alleys devoid of any living things -- unless that rat was living, and if it was, why did Rei _not _try to eat it-- and we also kinda lost track of our weird grouchy maybe robot teammate/captain _thing_' subject?"

"I don't chase after rats!" Rei protests loudly as Max snorts out in laughter.

"Oh, so it's only mice you chase, or do you just take special pleasure in me being blamed for _you_ chasing off the class pet?"

Max holds his stomach with both arms, about to choke. "Oh... oh, man, that was the _best_ day ever. I still remember Kai's face when you barrelled into him to try to get that mouse!"

"Or Hiromi's when the mouse tried to climb up her leg and Rei tried to get it but only ended up looking up her skirt because it was looong gone by then."

"Oh, shut up."

"Remember when we found that catnip? And we put some in his tea?"

"Explaining to Mao why Rei was cuddling up to everyone was awkward, but it was _totally_ worth it just for seeing Kyoujyuu faint when Rei rubbed himself on his legs!"

"_Shut up_."

"Or when--"

"I'm serious, guys, shut up!" Rei bellows, hands on his hips. "I think I heard Kai's voice."

The two boys simply look at him, by now used to Rei's sensitive hearing -- which does nothing to stop the kitty-cat jokes, who, after three years, are _really getting old_.

"C'mon, this way," he says before taking off, the other two running after him.

---------------------------------

It takes five minutes of running, three turns into dark alleys and two minutes of Takao and Max trying to trip Rei so he would run _slower_ to find Kai. It would have probably taken less if Rei had not gotten them to turn into dead ends so often, but to Rei's defence, all the alleys _are _connected. Just... separated by walls.

They find Kai kneeling in front of a cardboard box, leaning against a wall -- there's a moment of fear as they think something happened to him, that he was hurt or, well, _something_, which is a sentiment that as only started recently, courtesy of Kai's fight against Brooklyn and the horrible reminder that Kai _could_ get hurt, but then they realize he is very much conscious and very much busy with something in previously mentioned box. His hands move in a methodical rhythm as he murmurs words too soft for them to hear, and it takes them a few seconds to realize the box is mewling. And purring.

And full of kittens.

"... Well, that's new," Max comments, blinking.

"So I'm _not_ the only one hallucinating Kai petting kittens?" Takao questions, voice full of gratitude at finding out he has _not_ gone insane. Though Kai might've. Who knows.

"It might be a mass hallucination or a mirage," Rei is quick to correct him, "In which case we've all gone nuts from lack of food and sun and lost stuck in dark alleys, and it'll all be your fault, Takao, so what'll we tell Kyoujyuu?"

Kai rolls his eyes at them, almost fondly. "Wise guys," he scoffs, one of his fingers being nibbled on by a grey stripped kitten.

The sight is downright _bizarre_. There's an orange kitten fighting with a black kitten, or attempting to, anyway, considering the black cat is busy being pet by Kai and completely ignoring him. A white kitten mewls pitifully, wishing for Kai's attention to be directed at him. Her. It. Whichever.

It's... adorable.

"Do any of you have a camera?" Rei asks, "I want to save this moment forever. Kai and the box full of kittens."

"I'm filming with my cellphone as we _speak_, Catman!" Max answers him, cellphone indeed wiped out and filming. Kai glowers at him half-heartedly, and none of them ponder why Max has not used his cellphone to call for directions or a pizza or something. They _do _wonder when exactly Max got this cellphone, though it explains how Takao singing in the shower and being attacked by Daichi got on Youtube.

Sneaky.

"Someone empty the box on him so he can be attacked by kittens full of _love_," Max says, "I need something more adorable if I want to post this on Youtube."

"I think he just smiled at the idea," Takao _sounds_ speechless when he says this, but as he just spoke, he quite very well _isn't_, "Oh my god we've just found Kai's secret weakness. Kittens!"

"I don't think it's just kittens. Do you think Kai is weak to cute things?" Rei ponders aloud. "There was that one time with the puppy..."

"So _that's_ why he likes us!" Max exclaims with a laugh. "Because we're cute!"

"You wish," Kai pipes up, taking out the still-mewling white kitten and holding it in his arms gently. It completely ruins the sarcasm of the sentence.

"D'awwwwww," the team choruses as one when the kitten starts purring and kneading Kai's shirt.

"Zip it," Kai tells them, glowering. Again, the image is ruined by the cute, teeny white kitten in his arms, with its floppy ears and Kai's soft smile as it tries to eat his scarf.

"D'awwwwwwww," they repeat, but stop when Kai looks ready to chuck a kitten at them. Kai is not that cruel, of course, but sometimes they have doubts.

Rei approaches the box and picks up the black one -- fluffy, also with floppy ears and golden eyes, and Rei can _feel_ his teammates' urge to name it Reikitty from here. "These are Scottish Folds," he says, intrigued. He scratches the cat behind the ears and is rewarded by a great big purr. Max and Takao join him, each picking up a kitten -- Max winds up with the orange one, who has a great big urge to play that he lets out by climbing _on Max's head_, having fun with the fluffy, fluffy hair.

Takao's kitten bites him.

"Ow! Whaddya do that for?!" Takao asks as he holds the kitten at arm's length. The kitten just stares at him innocently.

"He's a biter," Kai says, "He might be teething."

"You checked their genders?" Max asks, trying -- and failing -- to remove the kitten on top of his head. It is attached to his hair.

"Teething doesn't give him an excuse to bite me! I bet you taught him to bite me somehow," Takao accuses him; to which Kai simply raises an eyebrow as if he's a little stupid. Which, frankly, is probably true.

"They're all male," Kai answers Max, completely ignoring Takao.

"It's a conspiracy! You can't beat me in a beybattle, so you train kittens to attack me, making me unable to fight, which is -- no, wait, that's ridiculous, you like fair matches, and you'd be just as distracted by the cat attacking me, you'd probably think it's _cute_ or something when it's vicious at me--"

"It is."

"You're a great big jerk," Takao sulks out, but pets his kitten nonetheless, much to Rei and Max's amusement. The kitten only tries to bite at Takao's fingers a few times.

"Okay, guys, that's all well and good that we've found a box of adorable kittens and blackmail for the rest of Kai's life," Kai snorts at this point, which still loses all credibility with the adorable white kitten in his -- shirt. Wait, when did it get there? "But we're still lost. Anyone have any idea how to get out of here?"

"And how to sneak these kittens into the hotel without Kyoujyuu, Hiromi _and_ Daichi on our asses." Max pipes up.

"Hiromi will be easy to convince," Takao says, "She's a girl. She likes cute things."

"Wonder what that says about Kai?" Max questions, moving the kitten from his hair, which is looking at least ten times fluffier by now. The cat perches on his shoulder, like some sort of demented parrot.

"Kai isn't a girl," Takao tells him, rolling his eyes, "He's a softie inside. It's different. C'mon, Max, I can't be rivals with a girl."

"... That's pretty sexist, isn't it?"

"_Earth to Team BBA_, we're still _lost_!" Rei yells out, exasperated. His kitten looks at him boredly until Rei remembers to resume his pettings before he bites off his hand or something.

"Okay, okay, I get it, _sorry_," Takao rolls his eyes, trying to free his finger from the grasp of the man-eating kitten. Or something like that.

"We're keeping the cats, though, right, Rei?" Max asks eyes wide. "I mean, it'd break Kai's heart to have to leave these poor things alone."

"I guess we can ask Daitenji-san when we get there," Rei answers, "but I'd really like to just... _get there_."

"Kai will never run off from us anymore! We'll just show him a kitten and he will be _putty_ in our hands! Putty! A mushy, putty thing! Muahaha!" Takao yells out, shoulders shaking in mirth.

"I'm _right here_," Kai tells him, deadpan.

"You're right here and you're putty for that kitten residing in your shirt, so you're not allowed to object, oh-my-captain."

"You all suck," Rei lets out, giving up forever.

"Well, I'm done filming for now. So, Kai, where's the exit? We promise we'll let you keep at least one kitten if you let us out. You can visit the rest. I'm pretty found of this little guy," Max says, petting his kitten. "It's the awesomest parrot-kitten I've seen."

Kai looks at them all, straightens up -- holding the cat in his place in his shirt -- and moves out of the alley.

"Just zip it and follow me."

The other three smile at each other in triumph as they do, Takao mouthing the words "_putty_, I tell you".

"I heard that."

* * *

TBC...?

This is the story of the time the G-Revolution got kittens! Or something like that. Part of a series of headcanon fic. Yes, I'm totally aware that G-Revolution happens in 2002 and so Youtube very well did not exist back then, but I do not care. I mean, if they can have a nutso who can create a whole entire universe with his head and level up a few buildings, I can totally have Max putting stuff up on youtube. As he would. Sneaky.

I will ask you all in advance not to check my old Beyblade fics, otherwise I will simply have to delete what is left of them forever in horror. It's not like I won't post up a few more fics soon, considering how topped I am currently by this fandom and the people asking me to write them fics. Le sigh.

Also, I am not writing how they got to keep their kittens, because Takao, Max and Rei do not shut up ever, and adding Daichi, Hiromi and Kyoujyuu AND Daitenji-san (aka Mr D) to the mix is just asking for it. At least Kai is silent and does not run off with the dialogue. Thank you for being a silent bastard with chocolate filling, Kai. Or... something like that. And the reason why Daichi did not follow even though Takao was in search of a hot dog stand is because he was sick. Airsick. Thank you canon for giving me an excuse. And finally, they're all somewhere in America in my head. Invited by the PPB.

How they'll get the kittens back to Japan will be awkward, though. Ah, foreign relations. I'll stop now before these side notes end up longer than the fic itself -- which would be quite the feat, considering the whole "running off with the dialogue" bit.

Hope you enjoyed!


End file.
